15 lessons i learned in 2025
to quote Tony Bennett, "life teaches you how to live it, if you live long enough."
Another year has come and gone.
The older I get, the quicker the years fly by; my youth lingers behind doors shut long ago, and the beginning of a new year always reminds me how fleeting time really is.
Those who have been here for a while know I’m not a big fan of resolutions (don’t read too much into it), but I believe taking a beat to self-reflect and ruminate on the lessons the past year has brought to light is important, vital even.
Was I the best version of myself last year? Probably not. There’s always room for improvement; I doubt I’ll ever consider my potential actualized. My goal each year isn’t to be “the best” it’s to learn, to grow, to make sense of the world—and myself—as much as possible.
Despite being extremely self-critical, I enjoy taking this time to pat myself on the back and cogitate the wisdom bestowed upon me in one short year.
Without further ado, here are the most important lessons I learned in 2025:
Put the past to rest: letting go of the past is seldom easy, but entirely necessary. Unless you want to find yourself drowning in the inner abyss with an anchor tied around your waist.
Confront yourself: often, we give ourselves every excuse under the sun to explain why we didn’t do the thing we really wanted to, why we settled for less than we deserve, why we gave up when it got difficult. Before any real change can begin, it’s imperative to look in the mirror and get real with yourself.
Be willing to look like a fool: no one has it all figured out. We’re all scraping by with what little knowledge we have, hoping it leads us where we want to go. Everyone starts out looking like a fool.
Accept the ebbs and flows: life is never easy, and it’s certainly not predictable. Learn to go with the flow, even when you’re not entirely sure where it’s taking you.
No one is coming to save you: people will love you and hate you and envy you and wish you nothing but the
worstbest. And not a single one can save you from yourself. That’s a job only you can do.Comparison will kill you if you let it: whether you're comparing yourself to who you were 3 years ago or to the random girl sitting beside you on the subway. That feeling will eat you alive.
Get outside your mind: live in the real world, not the hollow chambers of your brain.
Feel what you need to feel, don’t let it get trapped inside you: cry, scream, curse—whatever emotion is banging, begging to be freed—let it out.
Question everything except yourself: as we enter the era of AI, misinformation, and societal collapse, it’s important to enhance your critical thinking skills and question the world around you. The only truth you know for certain is your own.
Have the audacity to live your life: get out of your own way and give yourself permission to take up space, to chase after what you want, to live up to your potential. Life rewards the courageous.
Leave some room to breathe, without all the noise: turn off the music, the Netflix show, the white noise. Sit in silence. Breathe in and out. Remember what it feels like to exist only in the moment.
Sit in discomfort: instead of running away at the first moment of malaise, lean into it. Question it. Ask yourself where the feeling is stemming from; it will lead you down the treacherous path of Self-discovery.
Understanding who you aren’t is just as important as discovering who you are: what you don’t like is a paramount part of your identity. You are complicated, nuanced—a mosaic. Don’t forget it.
Don’t hide behind the illusion of boundaries and “protecting your peace”: resorting to therapy talk and setting boundaries to escape having difficult conversations or challenging interactions doesn’t make you a self-care guru. It makes you an asshole.
Love isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it: love won’t fix you; in fact, it will trigger the deepest wounds left unhealed inside you. Love will ask a lot of you. Love will hold you while you cry. Love will help illuminate the path forward if you let it. It takes work, real work, hard work. But it’s worth it, god it’s worth it.
Let me end with this:
Despite it all, and very foolishly might I add, I love life. I love life when I wake up in the morning, full of self-doubt and paranoia. I love life when the sun is shining on my exposed shoulders, and I’m laughing with my friends in the park. I love life when I’m dry heaving on my bathroom floor, wondering how I’m meant to survive yet another tragedy. I love life when my lover and I are dancing in the middle of the street in a foreign city. I love life even when I have no stomach for it.
So…will 2026 be my year? Fingers fucking crossed.